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Selected Translations from the satirical website, Alhudood

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Facebook advice users to make all account information public to remove incentives for hacking

October 11, 2018     No Comment    


To avoid any breach of their accounts, the facebook administration now urge its users to make all sensitive information that could be exploited by hackers publicly available.

Mark Zukerberg, the CEO of facebook, has acknowledged the challenge posed by nefarious parties who extract personal information from its users by hacking their online accounts. Their information has been sold to foreign parties who have used it to promote goods, services, foreign agendas, and certain electoral outcomes.

Outlining the solution, Mark stated, “if our users make all of their photos and posts publicly available and move their conversations from the private chat to their walls, it will make hacking completely unwarranted. It could even put hackers out of business and transfer their jobs to regular bureaucrats.”

He added, “the essential thing is not to leave anything under the radar, people who hide information are bound to be involved in some type of vile activity. These people are naturally afraid of being exposed, but from now on, they can consider the ‘public’ feature a tool to exercise internal control before committing any sin that cannot stand the light of day.”

Mark assured that facebook has a plan to force its users to implement its new protective measures. “To avoid any secrecy, we intend to publish regular reports to our subscribers, containing all the personal information of our users. In so doing, there is no way this information can be obtained through secret channels, like what happened in the Cambridge Analytica case. Indeed, we are pioneering both openness and honesty through this one simple initiative.”

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